How to organize the perfect bachelorette party: 7 expert tips
Learn about the main nuances and subtleties
Bachelorette party organizer answers key questions
What is a bachelorette party?
A bachelorette party is an event held in honor of the bride’s upcoming marriage. As a rule, it is attended by her closest friends and family members.
“It’s often said jokingly that a bachelorette party is your last night of freedom,” says professional bachelorette party organizer Allison Odner. She noted that the rise in popularity of this concept is associated with the women’s liberation movement for rights and equality in the 1960s. “Women began to glorify each other, and this became an occasion to spend time with loved ones,” the expert adds.
Bachelorette party etiquette
Bachelorette parties are full of fun and joyful events, but they do not cancel the rules of etiquette.
Who is throwing a bachelorette party?
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A bachelorette party is traditionally planned by the bridesmaids or a small group of her close friends, but there are no set rules. It will be absolutely normal if the newlywed herself wants to organize. “The main thing to remember is that a lot of different opinions can lead to disaster. It is better that one or two people are responsible for everything, and the rest just go with the flow, ”notes Odner.
When should a bachelorette party be held?
There are no set rules here either, but Odner says that most bachelorette parties take place a month or two before the wedding.
When should you start planning a party?
While planning a bachelorette party varies depending on how intricate it is, it’s best to start planning three to six months before the wedding. Then you will have time to understand the preferences of the bride and those present, as well as order everything you need to organize the perfect party.
How many days should a bachelorette party last?
A bachelorette party can last one night, or it can turn into a multi-day event consisting of many parties. Be attentive to expectations and keep in mind that not everyone is able to spend a lot of time and money needed for long celebrations. The meaning of the holiday is to make everyone comfortable and have fun, and no one experiences stress from the need to make ends meet just for the sake of being present.
How involved should the bride be in planning?
If the party is not planned by the bride, but by someone else, this person must receive all input from her in advance. “Ask if she has a specific place and date in mind, and find out about activities that she would be interested in. From now on, you will be responsible for bringing her vision of the holiday to life,” Allison says. Simply put, asking the bride a few questions would be fine, but don’t involve her too much – after all, the girl still needs to organize the wedding.
Who to invite to a bachelorette party?
The bride should decide who will be at the bachelorette party. Some invite only a limited circle of close friends, while others arrange a more global celebration and invite relatives, friends and even members of their partner’s inner circle. In any case, the people who were invited to the bachelorette party should also be guests at the wedding.
Do I need to send official invitations?
Formal hen party invitations are optional. “It could be a simple email with logistics information and other details,” Odner says. But after all the key details are set and the guest list is confirmed, you can send them paper cards for more solemnity.
Who pays for the bachelorette party?
Traditionally, each participant of the bachelorette party pays for himself, and also contributes to the bride’s expenses. If the party lasts one evening, it will be a nice and sweet gesture from the girlfriends. However, if this is a multi-day event that requires a flight by plane, most often the “culprit” of the holiday pays for her own travel and accommodation herself.
What is a reasonable amount to spend on a bachelorette party?
The cost of a bachelorette party depends entirely on the financial capabilities of the party participants. If the cost of visiting makes most people stressed, overwhelmed and anxious, then it is too high. It is necessary to take into account the situation of all those present, as well as further additional expenses associated with the wedding, for example, the purchase of clothes and gifts for the newlyweds.
Are gifts appropriate for a bachelorette party?
Although gifts are not required, if desired, small souvenirs can be given to everyone: glasses, mugs, fanny packs and commemorative T-shirts. “Usually this is what the party goers will use throughout the bachelorette party,” Odner says.
Should a male striptease be included in a bachelorette party?
A striptease at a bachelorette party is almost the same tradition as Olivier for the New Year. However, not all girls like him. The main thing is that the bride should be comfortable at the bachelorette party, so it’s better to carefully ask the bride in advance how she feels about such erotic dances. For example, a couple of months before the party, invite her to a strip club, and if she enthusiastically accepts the offer, then you can safely include male striptease in the holiday program by ordering professional dancers for her.
Steps for planning a bachelorette party
If you’ve been tasked with planning a bachelorette party, this guide to planning your bachelorette party will help you throw the perfect bridal party.
Make a guest list for the bachelorette party
“It’s the perfect excuse to get all the bride’s favorite people together,” Odner says. She advises the person in charge of the organization to clarify with the newlywed who she is going to invite to the bachelorette party, in order to later determine the place for it – it largely depends on the number of participants.
Choose a place for celebration
When choosing a place for a bachelorette party, several factors are taken into account: climate, atmosphere and preferences in activities. Let the bride ask herself if she wants to have fun in a club or relax in a country house, if she plans to establish a dress code or not. By answering these questions, the girl will reduce the number of possible options, and you can start searching.
Set a date for the bachelorette party
The person in charge of the organization should ask the bride for a few dates (from two to four) that suit her. After that, you should interview the invitees, which one suits them. After counting the votes, you can choose the most optimal one.
Book your party accommodation
For bachelorette parties, Odhner recommends renting large houses instead of hotel rooms. If you do choose a hotel, she advises booking at least one suite. “Then you will have a common luxurious place where everyone can go, have a glass of their favorite drink or have fun,” she notes.
Since accommodation is a major expense, ask guests how much they are willing to spend before booking accommodation.
Plan activities for your bachelorette party
For a typical two-day weekend, Odner recommends choosing two or three activities and a few more pre-planned activities. In addition to visiting clubs and bars, you can go to spa treatments, have an outdoor picnic, do yoga and fitness, go on a walking tour or take a master class such as cooking.
Organize a group meal
If you are going to dinner or brunch with a large group, there are certain steps you can take in advance to avoid the headache of paying the bill. “See if the restaurant is willing to put together a limited menu for a group of people at a set price, including a certain number of drinks,” Odner says. If the institution does not provide such a service, before dinner you need to announce that the bill will be divided equally so that everyone takes this into account when placing their orders.
Approve the final guest list of the bachelorette party
Four months before the bachelorette party, the main organizer must have an idea of the main expenses for accommodation and events. At this stage, you need to contact the invitees again and share the estimated expenses so that they can make the final decision on the visit. Let them know that if they cancel their presence after a certain date, they will still be responsible for their share of those expenses.
What are the rules for a bachelorette party before marriage
Surely every woman is familiar with such a concept as a bachelorette party. Some girls attended it as an invited friend, others organized it. And still others attended a bachelorette party before their own wedding. Or maybe they took part in its planning and organization.
In the modern world, the concept of a bachelorette party is divided – gatherings with girlfriends and a bachelorette party before the wedding. In the first case, each of the close friends can arrange an arbitrary holiday for themselves and their friends. And this can happen at any time and with any frequency convenient for all participants. The only rule of such a bachelorette party is that only the fair sex is present at it.
The second case is special. A bachelorette party before the wedding does not happen often, ideally – the only time in a lifetime. At least for the culprit of such an event.
That is why the rules of a bachelorette party before the wedding are bigger and more important. After all, a bachelorette party is a traditional old ritual, the roots of which go back to ancient times.
Even before the advent of Christianity in Rus’, every girl on the eve of the wedding said goodbye to girlhood precisely at such gatherings. Of course, compared to those times, the rules of the bachelorette party have changed. If earlier special ritual sad songs were obligatory, in which faithful girlfriends mourned the end of her carefree unmarried life together with the bride, led round dances and performed many more obligatory traditional actions, now a bachelorette party is not at all like that.
Now one of the unwritten rules of a bachelorette party is to have a really fun time, during which the future bride should have time to try something new, which would already be inappropriate for a solid married lady burdened with the happiness of family life. And, of course, to escape from the hassle and fuss during pre-wedding preparations.
So, what are the rules of the bachelorette party before the wedding relevant today? What do the unwritten rules of wedding etiquette regarding this event allow and what do not approve of?
Bachelorette party rule 1. The gender of the participants.
The very concept of “bachelorette party” implies the presence of only females at the celebration. However, this rule does not apply to those people who participate in creating a festive atmosphere: magicians, strippers, waiters, bartenders, members of musical groups. All these men are not direct participants in the event. Therefore, the first rule of a bachelorette party does not apply to them.
Rule of a bachelorette party 2. Organization of a holiday.
Long gone are the days when the rules of a bachelorette party required mournful ritual songs, dreary round dances and tears of the bride and her girlfriends on the occasion of farewell to unmarried life. And a bachelorette party should not imitate gatherings on a bench with old women gossiping about everything they saw and heard.
The bachelorette party rule says: you need careful preparation, planning and organization of the action. It is necessary to come up with a script, prepare several contests or fun competitions for girlfriends, so that none of the invited girls get bored, so that all the guests present at the bachelorette party are involved, clearly consider which entertainment venues will be visited at this time.
Bachelorette party rule 3. Venue.
The rules of a bachelorette party do not dictate the conditions for choosing a venue for an entertainment event. However, there is still one criterion: in no case should a bachelorette party interfere with other people. That is, you can’t have a bachelorette party in the apartment of one of the bride’s girlfriends, after expelling the husband or father of this very girlfriend from there for an indefinite time.
Remember the first rule of a bachelorette party? No men, except for attendants and participants in entertainment shows. And no inconvenience for loved ones!
So if one of the participants of the bachelorette party is a happy owner of her own apartment or house and lives there, in splendid isolation, this is a suitable place for a bachelorette party. If there are no such conditions, then you will have to find the right institution that corresponds to the scenario of the bachelorette party. Or opt for a scenario that is designed for a certain kind of establishments.
Bachelorette party rule 4. List of invited girls.
Like any important event, except for the script and the presence of an entertainment program, a bachelorette party needs to draw up a list of invitees. Of course, if the bride leads a rather reclusive life and has only a few very close friends, such a list does not make sense. However, such a bachelorette party rule is relevant for those girls who have many female friends and relatives.
This bachelorette party rule says that only those girls and women who are sincerely glad to see the main character – the bride – should be present at this event. If those persons whom the bride does not like too much or who are frankly unpleasant to her are present at the holiday, then the bachelorette party will be hopelessly spoiled. That is why the rule of a bachelorette party and wedding etiquette in general recommend taking care to prepare and hand out invitation cards only to those guests who will not spoil the mood of the bride.
Bachelorette party rule 5. Taking into account the wishes of the main character of the bachelorette party before the wedding.
According to the established tradition, the organization of the bachelorette party falls on the shoulders of the girl whom the bride invited to be a witness at her wedding. Of course, now more and more often the number of bridesmaids is much more than one. That’s just the signature of the witness of marriage by law – in the singular. So the bride’s many “maids of honor” at the wedding are rather a beautiful decoration and the bride’s desire to see around her on this important day only the native faces of people close to her.
So, the rules of a bachelorette party do not prohibit organizing this tribute to the traditions of the bride herself. But if, nevertheless, the bachelorette party is organized by the same “main bridesmaid”, then the rules of the bachelorette party prescribe to clarify the time, date, style of the holiday and other important nuances with the bride. Otherwise, girls will gather in a strip club, and the bride will get angry, upset and leave the bachelorette party. It is necessary to avoid such a development of the plot!
Bachelorette party rule 6. Necessary transportation.
Whoever organizes the bachelorette party, the rules of etiquette prescribe the provision of transport for each of the invited participants.